There are many venues that bring an individual to the realization that their mental health is not allowing them to cope and participate fully in life/society. My journey is one road and one understanding. I am not an expert, but I am a broken individual who was able to work through it all and come out strong on the other side.
It took me a long time to be okay with sharing my story. I was so ashamed and embarrassed I couldn’t fix myself on my own. This was part of being
I was like most women in society, looking at myself and focusing on my flaws and imperfections. I could see myself being more what people wanted if I only had this, or changed this, and the list goes on. I couldn’t control any of these things. It was exhausting and expensive spending all my time trying to make myself into someone that I thought everyone would love and want. I found the portion of myself I could most easily control was my weight. So I started on a crazy diet. The feedback I got made me feel so good!!! It was like I was on top of the world and felt great. But diets are not sustainable and the praise lasted such a short time. I found myself wanting real food and portions that I couldn’t lose weight on. So I took an easy out and made myself vomit after most big meals and binges. It got so addicting and I didn’t understand how all of a sudden this high now turned into so much pain from what I was making my body do. At this
I went home to my parents in tears and told them what was happening. I shared how terrified I was because I was now in something I didn’t have the control to stop. They held me and loved me and supported me as I found a counselor, I joined anorexics and bulimics anonymous, found an eating doctor, a nutritionist, and bought all my meals pre-prepared from a
If you struggle with an eating disorder, this was a resource that was helpful to me: http://aba12steps.org/